Title: "Peanut Butter and Jelly"

Author: Emmyjean (emmyjeanb@yahoo.com)

URL: Between the Lines: A Fanfic Archive (www.agentsndoctors.50megs.com)

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Don't sue, it's not worth it. I have nothing you could possibly want.

Classification: Mulder/Scully UST

Spoilers: The Beginning

Archive: Surely, but please e-mail me and let me know. J

Summary: Scully must decide how she wants to handle herself in the face of Mulder's harsh behavior in "The Beginning"

Author's Notes: Okay, I admit it…I'm obsessed with FowleyFic. Not neccesarily fic that she appears in, but fi in which she is mentioned. I guess that story line left a strong impression on me...that, or I need to see a shrink. J Anyway, it makes for good drama!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Dana Scully sat in her kitchen, uncharacteristically making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and thinking about her current situation. She had just been informed by her esteemed partner that she was worthless.

Well, alright, that wasn't exactly true. What Mulder had actually done was compare her to Diana Fowley, and although she herself was at a loss to comprehend it, Scully had ended up coming out the loser in that comparison. She snorted mirthlessly as she shoved the knife back into the peanut butter jar. This was going to be a hell of a time. Maybe she should've made good on her threat to quit the FBI and work in the field of medicine- she sometimes felt that was really where she belonged, anyway. Three's a crowd, after all.

She picked up the two sticky pieces of bread, prepared to violently smash them together, when she lost her grip on the jelly side and it fell to the tile floor- face down, of course. She sighed, resisted the urge to jump up and down on the poor, unsuspecting piece of food, and bent to retrieve it. As she took a sponge to the grape jelly-coated spot on the floor, she considered her options. She had a friend who she had graduated med-school with who worked as chief medical examiner for the Baltimore PD. The pay was decent. Perhaps she could check into it- do something that actually produced results, for once. Something that generated appreciation.

Her musings were interrupted by a knock on her door. Great. Please don't let that be who I think it is, Scully thought wearily. Although she didn't pray very hard- she knew it wouldn't do any good. Sure enough, a glance through the peephole revealed that her assumption was correct- there, in her hall, stood her beloved partner.

Sighing again, she opened the door…but only enough to allow her to poke her head around its frame.

"Mulder…what is it?"

He didn't say anything for a moment, then, "Can I come in?"

"Actually, I was kind if in the middle of something. Is it something that can't wait until tomorrow?"

He lifted his eyes above her head to peer into her apartment, but her living room was dark.

"Scully…it's kind of urgent."

This surprised her…it couldn't be a case, as they were no longer being allowed out into the field unless it was to investigate fertilizer scams on farms. Then again, she knew Mulder well enough to expect absolutely anything. Sighing yet again, but this time mostly for his benefit, she stood back and opened the door for him.

He entered and looked around, then just stood there. Aha…feeling a bit uncomfortable, Mulder? A little intrusive maybe?

She walked past him back into the kitchen, a clear invitation for him to follow. He did, and she caught a little smirk when he saw the evidence of her "unfinished business".

"I didn't know you liked PB&J, Scully."

She didn't laugh, or even smile. She wasn't really in the mood for being teased.

"What do you want, Mulder?"

"Whatever you're having."

She was startled to hear him walk over and open up her silverware drawer, pulling out a knife. He reached around her and took the loaf of bread, then proceeded to make a sandwich of his own. She snapped back to her senses with some annoyance, and went to work on making a new jelly slice for herself, effectively replacing the one she had dropped. They worked in silence for a minute, then she took her sandwich sans plate and sat down at the table. He followed her lead, and they merely stared at each other while they slowly ate.

Well, she stared at him, waiting for him to speak. He seemingly couldn't meet her eyes.

"Mulder?"

"Hmm?"

"What did you come here to tell me?"

He swallowed what was in his mouth, then began to fidget with the crusts of his bread. After what seemed like about two hours had passed, he began,

"I came to tell you that I'm sorry."

He looked her in the eyes then, and she didn't quite know what to say. She certainly hadn't planned for this. It turned out she didn't have to say anything, though, because he continued,

"I was angry yesterday morning at the OPR hearing because the higher-ups so blatantly refuse to even consider the possibility that Spooky Mulder is right about anything. I was angry that we didn't have enough evidence, after all that we went through, to support our story. I was angry that they had given the X-Files to Jeffery Spender. Which would all be perfectly reasonable, normal reactions…except that I ended up taking it out on you."

She didn't say anything, just waited. After a few minutes, he went on,

"I know that you are who you are, Scully. I know that it's your job to find the hard proof, and also your desire to do so. I wouldn't have it any other way, when all is said and done."

She expelled her breath in a rush through her nose, choosing to tear a piece off her sandwich and chew it rather than have to respond to this just yet. The truth was, she was shocked. She had heard Mulder's guilt come out in many ways, but never in such a straightforward apology, and certainly not in an apology directed at her. Although she felt utterly silly, she almost felt…cheated. She had been so high on righteous indignation that she had almost been looking forward to being mad at him for the next couple of weeks.

Now, he'd apologized, and she hadn't even gotten a good chance to yell at him.

He looked up at her again, and she could see in his eyes just how truly horrible he felt about the past couple of days.

"I…I know what I said in my hallway a few weeks ago. I want you to know that I remember it. I remember everything I said. I hope you know that I meant every word that came out of my mouth that night, despite the fact that I can be an asshole sometimes."

She swallowed her bite of sandwich, feeling like she was trying to swallow wet sawdust. What was she going to say in response to this totally uncharacteristic display of contrition? Damn…it was just like him to catch her completely unprepared. So, when she opened her mouth,

"Milk?" is what came out.

He stared for a second, not understanding.

"What?"

Thinking to buy herself time, she stood up and walked over to the refrigerator, opening the door and grabbing the milk carton. She held it up and raised her eyebrows, and she heard a whoosh of air escape his lungs as he nodded his head. She poured two tall glasses, then turned back around and handed him one. As he took it, she replied honestly, "I don't know what to say to you, Mulder."

He looked at her over the rim of the glass as he sipped.

"You could say it's forgotten. That you won't be tormented by your pent-up fury anymore."

She couldn't tell if he was joking or not, but she didn't feel like laughing. The truth was, she was tired of being angry at everyone. These days it seemed like every person she met in the halls of the Hoover Building made her nauseous with anxiety. She wasn't someone who was ever very demonstrative about her emotions, and for the sake of personal dignity she kept them inside. She supposed that was her father's living contribution to her personality. Now, however, she just wanted release.

"Mulder...I think I'm going to have to be mad for a couple more days at least. Maybe a week."

He set his glass down and opened his mouth, his brow furrowed in confusion. His mouth closed, then opened again before he spoke.

"What?"

"I can't just let you get off scott-free with crap like that, pretty apologies or not. Now, don't get all excited…it's not that I doubt the sincerity of your apology. It's just that I don't think this is something I'm going to get over right away. It...you truly hurt me this time."

She finished with a heartfelt and honest sentiment, but she did not deliver it in a way that was meant to induce pity or sympathy. It was merely a cold statement of fact as far as she was concerned, and she didn't want anything more said on the subject. So, before he could respond, she cut him off,

"So, Mulder...you can either refuse these terms and leave, or you can accept them and drive me to the video store to rent a movie."

She almost felt sorry for him, as now he looked completely perplexed and disoriented. She would have laughed, had it not been for the fact that she was angry with him.

"So, you don't want me to actually watch the movie with you."

"You can if you want."

He blinked and shook his head a little.

"Scully...are you mad at me or not? I'm...at a complete loss, here."

"Yes, I am still angry with you."

"Then...why do you want me to watch the movie?"

She sighed and sat back down, seeing that this was going to take some explaining to get the point through his thick skull. Genius psychologist, my ass, she thought vengefully.

"I am angry for what you said before, but you came here of your own accord and made a very decent apology. I am willing to make up with you, but I wanted you to know everything's not yet back to normal...that'll take a little more time. Since we no longer have an office in which to talk privately, I thought we could compensate by spending more time outside of work talking about X-Files related things…and personal matters. Alright?"

He smiled a little and held up his hands in surrender, "Okay, I understand. I accept the terms."

She looked at him for a moment, then nodded. Standing up, she put the sandwich materials back into the fridge and went to get her jacket. Mulder followed close behind, and as they walked down the hall toward the elevator she heard his voice behind her saying,

"Have you ever really considered peanut butter and jelly, Scully?"

She rolled her eyes, wondering where he was going with this, and didn't reply.

He continued, "Neither one is as good alone as it is when it's with the other," he paused for a beat, then finished, "I guess some things weren't meant to be separated."

She knew he was talking about more than food items- she wasn't dense. Inside, she was inexplicably touched by his simple, veiled words, but she couldn't express it. Not yet…and she knew he'd understand when she didn't say anything in the way of an answer. He hadn't really been looking for one.

"Anyway, the real question is - you'll make up with me, but where do you stand on making OUT?"

She smiled, but would have died before she'd let him see it. Instead, she simply responded,

"I'm picking the movie, Casanova."

…and she could have sworn she felt him smile behind her and let out a small sigh of relief as the elevator doors opened in front of her.

 

~~~

 

FINIS

Between the Lines: A Fanfic Archive

www.agentsndoctors.50megs.com