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Title: "Dial and Connect"
Author: Emmyjean (emmyjeanb@yahoo.com)
URL: Between the Lines (www.agentsndoctors.50megs.com)
Rating: PG
Classification: Mulder/Scully UST
Spoilers: Quagmire
Disclaimer: Not getting rich off this...or anything else, for that matter. So don't sue.
Archive: I'd be honored, but write and let me know please. J
Summary: This is a phone conversation between Mulder and Scully that takes place the day after they return from investigating Big Blue in "Quagmire".
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"Hello?"
"Hey, Scully, it's me," he said in what he hoped was a casual voice. Damn, but he hated himself sometimes. Well, okay...usually.
"Mulder? Is something wrong?" She sounded worried already. This was going to be more awkward than he had originally assumed.
"No, I just...you know, I was sitting. Thinking."
A long pause. He figured that she was waiting for him to continue, but he honestly couldn't think of a thing to add. Brilliant, asshole. Next time write a script before you dial the number.
"Mulder?"
"Yeah?"
Another pause...she was probably looking up the number of a reputable mental hospital. He honestly hadn't intended to make himself look like such a fool…it's just that he had been thinking about the Big Blue case since they had gotten back from Georgia yesterday evening. It was Saturday night now, and he had spent the entire day staring blankly at his television screen and contemplating not so much the monster itself but rather the situation it had put them in. The conversation they had while sitting stranded on that rock kept playing over and over in his mind, and there were more than a few things she had said that had evoked more of a response in him than he had let show at the time.
"Mulder...I hope you won't take offense to this, but why are you calling?" she didn't sound angry, at least. Just completely baffled.
"Scully...do you think we would have been friends as kids?"
Pause. He glanced outside, expecting the rubber truck to pull up any minute. Thankfully, none was in sight as of yet.
"Well, considering I thought boys were the devil's spawn, I highly doubt it. What brought this on?"
"I don't know...well, I suppose I do. I've been thinking a lot about the talk we had in the middle of the lake..."
"You mean ten feet from shore?" she interjected dryly.
"Whatever. Anyway...remember what you said about my reminding you of your father? Did you mean that, or were you just making an offhand comment born of complete boredom and lack of anything better to say?"
She was silent for a moment, then replied, "Well, I did mean it, but it's not so much that you remind me of my father as it is that you both remind me of Ahab."
He contemplated this for a second, temporarily diverted from his point by this clarification. Finally, he asked, "So, you would agree that by comparing us both to the same character, you imply that we do share certain qualities."
"Yes...or faults. Whichever way you choose to see it."
"I didn't let on at the time, Scully, mostly because I was too busy trying to decide if I liked being compared by you to your father or if I was extremely upset by that, but it means a lot to me that you would put he and I in the same category. I know how much you respected him."
"Mulder, you knew before I said it that I respected you. And anyway, why would it ever be a bad thing that I compared you to my father?"
He sighed inwardly- he had hoped she wasn't going to ask that question. Sure enough, she had- and now he was going to have to come up with an answer that didn't offend her.
"Well, there are just some implications inherent to that comparison that I'd just as soon avoid...at least in your mind."
"Such as?"
Was she kidding? Scully wasn't stupid, and he thought that he'd spelled it out as best he could without frankly admitting his attraction to her...and his need for her to find him attractive in return. It wasn't something he had ever felt was appropriate, considering their professional relationship, but it was also something that he had been resisting from day one. Not without difficulty, either.
"Scully, could we get back to my original point, here?"
"You had a point? Well, that's a nice surprise."
Hoping she could hear his smirk through the phone, he continued, "It got me to wondering- if we weren't forced to associate with each other by our Bureau superiors...do you think you'd be interested in me? That we'd be interested in each other?"
"In what way, Mulder?"
She just couldn't make it easy, could she?
"As friends. I don't know about you, but I consider you the best friend I've got. Probably the best friend I've ever had."
She was quiet, than said softly, "Mulder, I'm touched. Truly."
He replied just as softly, "You didn't know that?"
"Well...sometimes verbal confirmation is a powerful thing. And yes...it’s mutual."
He pondered this for a moment, seriously considering suggesting they go out and do something together in his sudden desire to see her. However, he was liking this phone arrangement, so he contented himself with continuing with what he started.
"Well, what I mean is, do you think we'd have been friends when we were younger. Like, high school or college."
"I think it's impossible to contemplate something like that and come up with any kind of satisfactory answer, Mulder. I can't speak for you, but I know that I was a very different person back then than I am now. How can we ever know if you would have liked the person that I was, or if I would have liked who you were in school?"
"Can't you just...theorize?"
She sighed, and went on, "It's not likely. Not to be pessimistic, but it's very rare for pure male-female friendships to form if it's not forced to happen through work or something equally obligatory. If we had become involved back then, it probably..." she trailed off, seemingly unsure.
He wasn't unsure.
"It probably would have been a romantic involvement," he finished.
They both remained silent for a minute, and he decided that he might as well take his life into his own hands and ask the question they were both thinking. You can't play with fire if you're afraid of getting burned.
"How do you think that would've panned out, Scully?"
She didn't answer right away. He thought maybe he had gone too far, but he simply had to ask. He had been thinking about it for hours, and as with anything that caused that kind of intense introspection on his part, he wanted to get her input. This just happened to concern her. It used to be that he could usually ignore the tension that existed between them with the knowledge that, besides being partners, they were equally intelligent, attractive people who spend an unusual amount of time working in close quarters. Lately...it wasn't so easy to dismiss. It seemed that with every year that passed, she became more beautiful. Maybe it was just in his mind, but that didn't really matter in the end.
Finally, she spoke, and it wasn't the dismissive answer he had expected.
"I don't think there's any way to know that, either, and there's also no way to really find out beyond creating the situation. We can't do that. At least...not right now."
Not right now? This was more open than Scully had been with him in...possibly ever. Was she trying to tell him that she was interested in pursuing this avenue of investigation one day, or...was it just his harried mind playing cruel tricks on him? He wished more than anything that he could read her face right now.
"Mulder...it's late. I'm tired, and so I think I'm going to say goodnight now," she broke into his thoughts.
"Okay, Scully...me too."
"Well...I'll see you Monday."
"Hey Scully?"
"Yes?"
He hesitated a moment, then asked, "Did you really mean what you said about me being the best friend you've ever had? I mean, I know YOU didn't technically say it, but..."
"I don't say things I don't mean."
He was silent a moment, then said, "Thank you, Scully."
He thought he could hear her smile as she ended the conversation, "Night, Mulder."
He hung up and then simply sat back in his chair and stared at the phone. There would be plenty of time for obsessing over every little thing she had said to him that smacked of encouragement, time for deep psychological analysis of every double entendre she had let him hear concerning their possible blooming romantic feelings for each other. However, there was no mistaking the clarity of what she had said to him concerning their friendship...and it meant more to him than anything he had ever been told. By anyone, ever.
He smiled then and kicked off his shoes, finally able to give his mind a rest. As he drifted to sleep on his couch a few minutes later, he imagined that he might call her again tomorrow. Talking on the phone was highly underrated.
FINIS
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