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Title: "In Memoriam"
Author: Emmyjean (emmyjeanb@yahoo.com)
Classification: V, Scully POV
Rating: G
Summary: Scully's thoughts about losing her dog to "Big Blue"
Spoilers: Quagmire
Disclaimer: Not mine…and don’t sue.
Archive: Sure…as long as you keep the dedication.
Author's Notes: I always thought that they skimmed over the death of Scully's dog...it's no light matter losing a pet. I know it only too well. This story was inspired by the passing on of my dog, Annie, earlier this evening…I'll miss her more than I can express in mere words.
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Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
~Anonymous
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Dana Scully walked through the door of her darkened apartment and noticed immediately there was something missing in this seemingly commonplace scenario- her entering her home. She quickly flipped on the light on the console table, but when the bulb illuminated the room, nothing seemed out of place.
Suddenly, she realized what it was…Queequeg wasn't there to greet her. There was no jingling of name tags or scratching of tiny nails on the hardwood floor as he scurried from her bedroom to welcome her home. With a sinking heart she realized, perhaps for only the first time since the accident in Georgia, that he never would be there again.
She was, once again, alone.
Much to her own shock, her eyes filled with tears of frustration, guilt and something she could only identify as grief. She felt a piece of her heart break every time she thought of the end her little friend had come to at the hands of Mulder's "sea monster", and therefore it killed her to think about it.
She sat down on her couch, feeling heavy and tired, and contemplated her surprise at her feelings about her own pet. She hadn't doubted that she was very fond of him- she had grown very attached to the furry little creature in the relatively short time they had spent together. Perhaps she simply hadn't realized how much she had come to truly care for him…how much she had come to enjoy his company, depend on his presence. How often we don't appreciate the things we have until they are gone, she thought wistfully.
She supposed that Mulder would call her silly for thinking such things about a mere animal…but she didn't really care. It was just the way it was.
As she wandered into the bedroom, she found herself thinking randomly about how Queequeg had claimed a little spot on her bed as his own. Every night, she would come out of the shower and he would be lying on top of her pillows. The minute she would approach the bed, he would scramble up and into the lower-left hand corner. She would go to sleep, and as the night wore on he would snuggle closer and closer to her feet until, when she woke up in the morning, he would be practically on top of them.
She was going to miss that warmth, she thought as she stared at his spot on the bed. It was one of the many things she was going to miss more than she had expected she would.
Sighing, she went into the bathroom to take her shower, thinking that she would take care of all his things the next day. She simply didn't want to think about it right now.
As she drifted to sleep that night, alone in her cold bed, she pictured her little dog's intelligent brown eyes, pink tongue, and ever-wagging tail. She felt the lump in her throat, and for the first time she didn't feel ridiculous about letting the tears fall. No one had to know. She was alone in her room.
She wasn't simply mourning the loss of a pet…she was mourning the loss of a friend.
She supposed he deserved that much. She had heard before that all dogs go to heaven. She herself had never put much thought into the notion, and if someone had asked, she would have said she doubted that dogs had immortal souls. She guessed many people felt that way.
She realized now that it's something people say when they have never loved an animal. Once you have, you can't doubt that the optimistic sentiment is absolutely true. Anything else was simply unthinkable.
Scully finally closed her eyes and, somehow comforted by that conviction, she drifted to sleep...whispering her last farewell to her Queequeg, wherever he was.
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FINIS
Dedicated to my Annie-girl
Wherever She Is
(1996-2001)
"Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears
but laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you.
I loved you so---
'twas Heaven here with you."
- Isla Paschal Richardson